Dr. Megan Hanna

Who is the most confident person you know?

The most confident person I know was my daughter at age two or three. She was completely her own person, comfortable in her skin, and ready to take over the world. When anyone asked who she was, she would confidently declare, “I am Tinker Bell” or “I am a princess.” It mattered not what her real name was, only who she believed she was.

At this age, my daughter’s understanding of who she was or could be wasn’t limited by constraints placed on her by the world, others, or herself. The world and its possibilities were limitless. If she wanted to be a fairy princess, then, by golly, that’s who she was going to be. There was no thought in her mind that it could be any other way.

In my view, many of us who are adults could take lessons from toddlers such as those I got to raise. While there are some limits to who we are and can become, we shouldn’t be afraid to challenge the limits, stretch ourselves, and figure out what’s possible. Just because something hasn’t been done before, it doesn’t necessarily mean we shouldn’t try.

Moreso, we shouldn’t lose hope or confidence if we try something and fail. Imagine if a baby stopped trying the first — or fiftieth — time they fell down when learning to walk. Failure is often a necessary part of the growth process. When we inevitably fail, we need to get back up with confidence and try again, applying the lessons we learned.

To this point, I am a fan of Carol Dweck and her research on the growth mindset. One of the things she talks about in her famous TED Talk (The Power of Believing You Can Improve) is the “power of yet,” which is a way to reframe our minds as it relates to failure. Just because we’re not yet able to do something — or we can’t yet do it proficiently — it doesn’t mean this will always be the case. Rather, we can grow and improve.

I have certainly been guilty of losing confidence or giving up too quickly when things get complicated. Now, when I face future challenges, I will reflect on what it was like when my daughter was the most confident person I knew. I will remember the “power of yet” and figure out what I must do to keep moving forward. I won’t forget who I am just because things don’t go my way.

Even if the world tells me something is impossible, I won’t lose hope. Instead, I’ll tap into the confidence of my inner toddler, think creatively, and do my best to arrive at an innovative solution. Not only will I have given it my all, but it’s hard to say what I can create or accomplish. The world is full of possibilities.

May we all have the bravery and confidence to do our best to make the world an even better place. If we do, who knows what tomorrow will bring?